So, for my New Year's resolution, I got off tumblr. The only exception is writing for my blog
20dollarlolita
which is about budget Lolita fashion.
On Blogger, I have
musicwithoutmusic
which is for people who would like to play stringed instruments like guitar, ukulele, and bass, but don't know how to start.
And my lack of tumblr means I'll be back here to share things like how I feel about my job, some frustrations with bipolar disorder and how people fail to understand it, and my betta fish.
I guess right now, no news is good news.
If you want lots of short updates, there's my twitter, and if you want very infrequent, costume-specific updates, check out my facebook page.
I might give BEDF (blog every day in February) a shot. For now, my job and MwM are taking a lot of my time, so I don't want to commit to blogging, when all I'm going to do is be blogging about the same day over and over. My job's streesful, but consistent. Not good blogging material.
That's about it. Sorry, guys. That's all for this post.
Goodnight
~Polly
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Friday, May 29, 2015
Blah Blah June is coming
I have the tradition of failing Blog Every Day In June every year.
But I like the idea of trying to do it.
Even if I'm not successful.
See, there's this thing about saying you'll do something, and then doing it every day for a month.
This month I'm going to kind of change it up.
This month, I want to get better at both guitar and bass. My logic is that if I touch the instrument once a day, I"ll be better than if I didn't do anything at all.
See, my only friend in this city is moving, and I'm scared to death of being stuck here alone.
And I really like playing music with people.
And I think I'm good enough. I really do. I have gear I'm not ashamed of (this was a problem in the past). I have a solid ear for intervals, and a good backing in theory, and I can improv basslines in various styles, and I can write basslines based on chord progressions.
I'm passable at acoustic guitar. I'm okay at rhythm guitar.
But who cares. No big deal. I want more.
I want to be better at the actual playing. Build up the muscles. Build up the intuitive skills and the sense of where the strings are.
So here's the list of things that I can do for practicing when I don't feel like doing actual music.
You know, the stuff that you can be doing lying down in bed while you're not thinking about it.
So here goes
As for strumming, up, down, updown for guitar. Up. down, updown, fingerpicking for bass.
Eventually work in 8th notes and shit,.
The rest
But I like the idea of trying to do it.
Even if I'm not successful.
See, there's this thing about saying you'll do something, and then doing it every day for a month.
This month I'm going to kind of change it up.
This month, I want to get better at both guitar and bass. My logic is that if I touch the instrument once a day, I"ll be better than if I didn't do anything at all.
See, my only friend in this city is moving, and I'm scared to death of being stuck here alone.
And I really like playing music with people.
And I think I'm good enough. I really do. I have gear I'm not ashamed of (this was a problem in the past). I have a solid ear for intervals, and a good backing in theory, and I can improv basslines in various styles, and I can write basslines based on chord progressions.
I'm passable at acoustic guitar. I'm okay at rhythm guitar.
But who cares. No big deal. I want more.
I want to be better at the actual playing. Build up the muscles. Build up the intuitive skills and the sense of where the strings are.
So here's the list of things that I can do for practicing when I don't feel like doing actual music.
You know, the stuff that you can be doing lying down in bed while you're not thinking about it.
So here goes
As for strumming, up, down, updown for guitar. Up. down, updown, fingerpicking for bass.
Eventually work in 8th notes and shit,.
The rest
- Chromatic scales: Always chromatic scales. Bass and guitar. Up and down. Super fun.
- The stretchy one. 1, skip a fret, 2, skip a fret, 3, skip a fret, 4. So your pinky's on the 7th fret when your done. Then up a fret and again. And again. Till you hit 12.
- Hammers and pulls. Once with 1-3, once with 1-2, once with 2-4, once with 2-3. Until you're sick and want to kill pull-offs.
- Metronome training. Just everythign but with a metronome. I'm kind of shit with teh metronome, but I'm okay with a drummer. It's weird.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
A Lesbian's Review of Pure Romance
Background needed:
This is a method much like other companies such as Tupperware, Amway, Mary Kay, Big Yellow Box, and Herbalife. All of these work through the same sort of promise: Own your own business, and you will make money! Once you make your business, the REAL money comes when you sell your business to others! This is what I'm going to define as multi-level marketing (which is not my term). Level 1: you're selling the product. Level 2: You're selling the business. Level 2 often includes hosting a party where someone else is the consultant. You're making money selling the product. They're making money getting you to sell the product. In some versions (lookin' at you, Amyway*** and Herbalife****), the real money comes in when your business you sold starts selling the business.
But we're not going to talk about that. What I'm reviewing from here on out is the level 1: the product, and my experience with the selling aspect.
THE PARTY, an overview
Pure Romance parties consist of all women over the age of 18. Well. I say women. It was specified that they should be "female". I do not know what Pure Romance's policy is on trans and nonfemale women. It may be up to the discretion or the party host or the consultant, or it may be Pure Romance's policy that the only dicks allowed are synthetic and battery operated.
Everyone sits down at the party. There was wine at mine. Our consultant/host (henceforth called GFHBF because random numbers are fun) started up with a little game, involving a lot of innuendo**** and us all admitting that we have sex organs.
The story and sales pitch we got was pretty fun. We got to try out perfumes, look at body sprays and shimmers, and then progressed into tasting lubes. They were some damn tasty lubes.
This progressed into sex toys. Bullets, and the optional c-ring they could go into. Pure Romance doesn't say "cock ring." Up next were the g-spot vibrators and a demon called the "B.O.B, your battery operated boyfriend!" It was blue. It rotated. It vibrated. It had a tiny remote control attached to it.
There were discussions about clitoral stimulation and how to find your g-spot. We skimmed through the catalog, looked at anal toys and fetish supplies, and then went into a private room with GFHBF to place orders.
I then locked my keys in my car, failed to break into it, in the hail, and called AAA.
It was a fun party. I had fun.
THE PARTY, a review on product
I love the idea that intimate products can be bought privately, among friends, and without pressure to prove anything or know anything about toys. It'd be a good environment for buying your first toys, where you can go home and not have to admit to anyone that you just touched something called "The Thumb's Up."
Some very important sex toy rules were set down. Cleaning product was available from Pure Romance, and the consultant was clear that it's needed. Silicone toy safety was covered too, like no silicone lube on silicone toys, and no leaving your silicone toys where they can touch each other. Anal toys were not to be bought without lube. All in all, good rules.
I could have gone with a little more safety on the butt stuff, personally, because I've known people to do dumb shit like puncture their colon on a toilet plunger handle or get nasty anal fissures because their partner said that anal was a good idea but wasn't quite sure how. My main issue was that most of their butt toys were silicone, and silicone lube is the lubiest of them all, your butthole needs much lube, and Pure Romance just established that you can't use silicone lube on silicone dicks.
Unofficially, I've been told by several people who know their way around bondage products from many manufacturers, including Pure Romance, to never get their fetish supplies. First of all, they were added into their inventory to cash in on Fifty Shades of Grey's popularity, and second of all, they're cheaply made. Mostly what I saw consisted of 50 types of blind folds and some badly-made whips. In general, in my opinion, fetish toys are specialized enough, and bondage/kink likes and dislikes are specific enough, that trying to find stock Pure Romance can offer would be very difficult. It's kind of like buying bras from Chinese Ebay.
Other than that, the products seemed pretty damn swell. Prices were similar to what you'd find online, but more comfortable to order, since the party goers were aware of their products and quality.
THE PARTY AND PRODUCTS, a review on inclusivity.
As I had expected, I was the only lesbian in the room. I know that I was not the only non-straight woman in the room, but I believe I was the only one who wasn't interested in penises or men.
And, also as I had expected, this wasn't something Pure Romance frequently caters to. Most girls who go to a sex toy party like that are going to be interested in a different kind of sex from what I am interested in. I'm not a lesbian trying to make everything equal or take away dick fun for the non-lesbian women. I just thought it'd be fun to share how my sexuality affected my experience here.
The party itself was very fun. There was an understanding that all of us girls like sexual stimulation and that it's nothing to be ashamed about. The consultant tended to say, "your partner" and not "your boyfriend," or "your man." Most of the conversation was about personal preference, your right to control your sex life as a woman, and about embracing your sexual desires. There were absolutely no jokes about me being gay that weren't jokes I made.
The products, however..
Look. I know that a lot of girls who like vaginal vibrators also like dick. I understand that a lot of people who like vaginal vibrators like them to look like and feel like dicks. I understand that only about 1.6% of USAmerican women identify as lesbian and that most of them probably don't go to parties like this. I understand that I am not in Pure Romance's normal demographic and I am not expecting them to cater to a side demographic like mine.
That said, while I was looking through their catalogue prepping to make my purchases, I ruled out all of the toys that would be emotionally uncomfortable to put in my me, and then kept looking. And the thing that got me was the names. Like I could just see myself going to town, about to hit it, and suddenly that evil voice that tries to make me never have fun would just go, "its name is Carl," and that'd be a great o-moment killer, and as a chick with a stressful life and frequent periods of genital numbness or total anorgasmia, I don't need the voice in the back of my head reminding me that I have Mr Know It All or The Cabana Boy all up in my vag to kill the occasional moments I get.
So, Pure Romance, if you want to cater to lesbians, which I am very aware that you may not want to do, if you change your naming structure so that the sleeker and more stylized toys didn't have obviously men/male names, I would appreciate it.
ALL IN ALL I give Pure Romance a 5/5 on concept, 3/5 on product (I'd personally prefer a smaller selection of safe and high quality toys than trying to expand it into fetish gear and anal play that you're not sure 100% how to encourage to be used safely), and a 3/5 on lesbian inclusivity, which is very damn impressive because I don't think they were actually trying for that at all. A ?/5 in trans inclusivity awaits further information before I can make that ruling.
So, women with vaginas over the age of 18, if someone invites you to a Pure Romance party, I definitely suggest you give it a shot. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always fun, and if your party is like mine, you'll stretch your comfort zone in new directions without ever feeling like you left. If you're not into toys, they're great for you. If you're thinking about toys or just getting into them, they're fantastic for you, and if you're really into toys, you might have everything in their catalogue already, but in that case you need to buy some of that rainbow sherbert lube. I'm tempted to buy some to just put on ice cream. That shit was tasty as hell.
Wishing you luck
~Polly
___
*Any solo sex toy can be used as a couple/more than couple. You've just got to think.
*That's a lie. You can buy the toys online through Pure Romance directly, but don't. You'll pay the same as you would through a consultant, your order's private, and no one's making money off it except Pure Romance. If you see something on their site that you like, hit me up, and I'll ask my consultant to send you her webpage. You'd make her fucking week.
**My mom has sold Amway for over ten years, now
***Some of my best friends are Herbalife
****inYOURend-o
- I am a lesbian
- A coworker/friend invited me to her party. It was her first party as a consultant, and she was both consultant and host.
- I knew of Pure Romance through being invited to a party once but never going, and then checking them out online.
- There were other people at the party, but for the sake of privacy, this story will be told as if they were cardboard cutouts capable of generic speech.
This is a method much like other companies such as Tupperware, Amway, Mary Kay, Big Yellow Box, and Herbalife. All of these work through the same sort of promise: Own your own business, and you will make money! Once you make your business, the REAL money comes when you sell your business to others! This is what I'm going to define as multi-level marketing (which is not my term). Level 1: you're selling the product. Level 2: You're selling the business. Level 2 often includes hosting a party where someone else is the consultant. You're making money selling the product. They're making money getting you to sell the product. In some versions (lookin' at you, Amyway*** and Herbalife****), the real money comes in when your business you sold starts selling the business.
But we're not going to talk about that. What I'm reviewing from here on out is the level 1: the product, and my experience with the selling aspect.
THE PARTY, an overview
Pure Romance parties consist of all women over the age of 18. Well. I say women. It was specified that they should be "female". I do not know what Pure Romance's policy is on trans and nonfemale women. It may be up to the discretion or the party host or the consultant, or it may be Pure Romance's policy that the only dicks allowed are synthetic and battery operated.
Everyone sits down at the party. There was wine at mine. Our consultant/host (henceforth called GFHBF because random numbers are fun) started up with a little game, involving a lot of innuendo**** and us all admitting that we have sex organs.
The story and sales pitch we got was pretty fun. We got to try out perfumes, look at body sprays and shimmers, and then progressed into tasting lubes. They were some damn tasty lubes.
This progressed into sex toys. Bullets, and the optional c-ring they could go into. Pure Romance doesn't say "cock ring." Up next were the g-spot vibrators and a demon called the "B.O.B, your battery operated boyfriend!" It was blue. It rotated. It vibrated. It had a tiny remote control attached to it.
There were discussions about clitoral stimulation and how to find your g-spot. We skimmed through the catalog, looked at anal toys and fetish supplies, and then went into a private room with GFHBF to place orders.
I then locked my keys in my car, failed to break into it, in the hail, and called AAA.
It was a fun party. I had fun.
THE PARTY, a review on product
I love the idea that intimate products can be bought privately, among friends, and without pressure to prove anything or know anything about toys. It'd be a good environment for buying your first toys, where you can go home and not have to admit to anyone that you just touched something called "The Thumb's Up."
Some very important sex toy rules were set down. Cleaning product was available from Pure Romance, and the consultant was clear that it's needed. Silicone toy safety was covered too, like no silicone lube on silicone toys, and no leaving your silicone toys where they can touch each other. Anal toys were not to be bought without lube. All in all, good rules.
I could have gone with a little more safety on the butt stuff, personally, because I've known people to do dumb shit like puncture their colon on a toilet plunger handle or get nasty anal fissures because their partner said that anal was a good idea but wasn't quite sure how. My main issue was that most of their butt toys were silicone, and silicone lube is the lubiest of them all, your butthole needs much lube, and Pure Romance just established that you can't use silicone lube on silicone dicks.
Unofficially, I've been told by several people who know their way around bondage products from many manufacturers, including Pure Romance, to never get their fetish supplies. First of all, they were added into their inventory to cash in on Fifty Shades of Grey's popularity, and second of all, they're cheaply made. Mostly what I saw consisted of 50 types of blind folds and some badly-made whips. In general, in my opinion, fetish toys are specialized enough, and bondage/kink likes and dislikes are specific enough, that trying to find stock Pure Romance can offer would be very difficult. It's kind of like buying bras from Chinese Ebay.
Other than that, the products seemed pretty damn swell. Prices were similar to what you'd find online, but more comfortable to order, since the party goers were aware of their products and quality.
THE PARTY AND PRODUCTS, a review on inclusivity.
As I had expected, I was the only lesbian in the room. I know that I was not the only non-straight woman in the room, but I believe I was the only one who wasn't interested in penises or men.
And, also as I had expected, this wasn't something Pure Romance frequently caters to. Most girls who go to a sex toy party like that are going to be interested in a different kind of sex from what I am interested in. I'm not a lesbian trying to make everything equal or take away dick fun for the non-lesbian women. I just thought it'd be fun to share how my sexuality affected my experience here.
The party itself was very fun. There was an understanding that all of us girls like sexual stimulation and that it's nothing to be ashamed about. The consultant tended to say, "your partner" and not "your boyfriend," or "your man." Most of the conversation was about personal preference, your right to control your sex life as a woman, and about embracing your sexual desires. There were absolutely no jokes about me being gay that weren't jokes I made.
The products, however..
Look. I know that a lot of girls who like vaginal vibrators also like dick. I understand that a lot of people who like vaginal vibrators like them to look like and feel like dicks. I understand that only about 1.6% of USAmerican women identify as lesbian and that most of them probably don't go to parties like this. I understand that I am not in Pure Romance's normal demographic and I am not expecting them to cater to a side demographic like mine.
That said, while I was looking through their catalogue prepping to make my purchases, I ruled out all of the toys that would be emotionally uncomfortable to put in my me, and then kept looking. And the thing that got me was the names. Like I could just see myself going to town, about to hit it, and suddenly that evil voice that tries to make me never have fun would just go, "its name is Carl," and that'd be a great o-moment killer, and as a chick with a stressful life and frequent periods of genital numbness or total anorgasmia, I don't need the voice in the back of my head reminding me that I have Mr Know It All or The Cabana Boy all up in my vag to kill the occasional moments I get.
So, Pure Romance, if you want to cater to lesbians, which I am very aware that you may not want to do, if you change your naming structure so that the sleeker and more stylized toys didn't have obviously men/male names, I would appreciate it.
ALL IN ALL I give Pure Romance a 5/5 on concept, 3/5 on product (I'd personally prefer a smaller selection of safe and high quality toys than trying to expand it into fetish gear and anal play that you're not sure 100% how to encourage to be used safely), and a 3/5 on lesbian inclusivity, which is very damn impressive because I don't think they were actually trying for that at all. A ?/5 in trans inclusivity awaits further information before I can make that ruling.
So, women with vaginas over the age of 18, if someone invites you to a Pure Romance party, I definitely suggest you give it a shot. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always fun, and if your party is like mine, you'll stretch your comfort zone in new directions without ever feeling like you left. If you're not into toys, they're great for you. If you're thinking about toys or just getting into them, they're fantastic for you, and if you're really into toys, you might have everything in their catalogue already, but in that case you need to buy some of that rainbow sherbert lube. I'm tempted to buy some to just put on ice cream. That shit was tasty as hell.
Wishing you luck
~Polly
___
*Any solo sex toy can be used as a couple/more than couple. You've just got to think.
*That's a lie. You can buy the toys online through Pure Romance directly, but don't. You'll pay the same as you would through a consultant, your order's private, and no one's making money off it except Pure Romance. If you see something on their site that you like, hit me up, and I'll ask my consultant to send you her webpage. You'd make her fucking week.
**My mom has sold Amway for over ten years, now
***Some of my best friends are Herbalife
****inYOURend-o
Monday, July 28, 2014
How to turn yourself gray
All right, you
whippersnappers, Great Aunt Polly here to teach you about gray.
But Great Aunt Polly, we know about gray. We've been graying since 2009.
Shut up or you don't get any ginger snaps when I'm done talking. I'm here to teach you about GRAY SAFETY. The thing about cosplay is that a lot of methods that come up are things that work, but can permanently damage you, your friends, your costumes, and your reputation. But I'm first going to address damaging you.
(Please note that I'm using USA standards for labeling and safety warnings, since that's the only thing I'm familiar with. The general advice should apply everywhere, but labels might be more or less specific depending on where you are. Research is your friend)
One of the methods I've seen for graying up is mixing acrylic paint with lotion and using that on your body.
NO NO NO NO NO.
No.
A lot of acrylic paints have heavy metals in them. They're usred to make the right colors. There's no consistent way in the USA to tell if it does. There's the AP certification, but I've seen the highest safety label on cadmium yellow with real cadmium. Cadmium is a heavy metal, and you don't want heavy metals in your body.
Story time, children. Almost a year ago, I got lithium poisoning because of some meds I was on. It was a solid two weeks of vomiting and dizziness. I missed two weeks of work. I missed two weeks of class and had to drop my favorite class because I couldn't catch up. It sucked. My lithium toxicity was still below the range considered toxic.
Lithium poisoning is one of the less shitty heavy metal poisoning.
Your body can absorb heavy metals through your skin.
Do not put acrylic paint on your skin. Heavy metals stay in your body for a long time, sometimes years. They can build up over years.
A lot of people ask if PAX makeup (acrylic paint and pros-aid adhesive) is still okay. I don't recommend it. Show me one referenced source or scientific study that shows that Pros-Aid neutralizes heavy metals and I'll change my view. But I don't believe that PAX with acrylic paint is any safer than lotion mixed with acrylic paint. It may actually be more danger since it is so much harder to remove from your skin.
So I just need to get actual body paint? Party City sells tubes for $1. That's not too hard!
Hold up again, children. I'm going to put this in bold italic capitals because if you only get one thing out of this write up, it should be this:
DO NOT EVER USE ANY MAKEUP THAT TELLS YOU TO ONLY USE IT LESS THAN (4, 6, whatever) HOURS.
This is really important. Using acrylic paint and lotion naturally feels like it's a little less than safe, and you're instinctively going to want to be cautious. Actual body paint, you think, is going to be safer.
Well, that warning's there for a reason. If they put that label on it, it's because it needs to come off your skin before the bad ingredients reach toxic levels in your body.
I learned this the hard way. My friend cosplayed as a Weeping Angel once and we got our makeup from the party store. It said it was good for six hours, but apparently she was sensitive to an ingredient. Four hours in, she was unable to walk without help because she was so dizzy, and then threw up for almost a solid half hour in the convention bathroom.
It is impossible to know if you are this sensitive without trying it on, and even if you aren't sensitive, the chemicals will still build up in your system; your body just isn't trying to get rid of them.
Great-Aunt Polly, I'm not made of money, damn it. I need to gray on the cheap. You just ruled out the cheapest two paint methods.
Watch your language, kid. First of all, I didn't rule them out. The makeups ruled themselves out by being dangerous to your body. Let's say it one time together, Homestuck is not worth bodily harm.
Homestuck is not worth bodily harm.
Good job. Everyone have a cookie.
So, what's a good option?
Well, the following paint brands are safe and all offer paint I'd say is safe on your face:
Ben Nye (Cream Liners)
Mehron (Paradise AQ, Starblend)
Snazaroo (All of it)
Krylon (aquacolor, color cups)
Graftioban (I've used their RMG because I got it for prosthetics, but I trust all of their greasepaint)
These all take a lot of paint to cover a body. Paradise AQ's big $11 thing has covered me for two fullbody paintings and that's it. I've heard you need two or three Ben Nye creamliners to cover a body. This is a lot of money for an unemployed old lady with no kids to take care of her.
You definitely need face-safe makeup for your face. Your skin is thinnest on your eyelids and so you're going to want to stop anything nasty from getting into your body fast. Just because your body paint is body-safe doesn't mean it should go on your face for hours at a time.
So you've got that, right?
Now you need some water-based cream makeup. I use Mehron Fantasy FX (I like Mehron). You need a tube of gray and a tube of white to get the right color. This comes out to $7. Order a tube of sealer too (this is not optional any time you wear body paint. Seriously. Not optional)
Then I picked up some lotion. I use Body Series Hand and Body lotion SPF 8, but you're not going to be able to find that in a store. Just pick up any lotion that you like and isn't super fancy. While you're out getting lotion, grab some aerosol spray-on sunscreen, some baby powder, and some Monistat chafing relief powder gel. The powder gel's got the exact same ingredients as Smashbox Primer Potion and doesn't cost a shitload. You're also not going to be using it on your eyelids. If there's empty squeezey bottles, get one too. 3 oz or bigger's best.
The exact proportions of white to gray are going to depend on your particular face paint that you're matching. Here's what I do (to match a 50-50 white and Storm Cloud ParadiseAQ mix):
Squirt a little bit of lotion in the bottle to stop the makeup from getting stuck on the edges. Close the lid and shake the crap out of it till it's on all of the inside surfaces. Then put the entire 1oz tube of white into the bottle. Shake to mix it up. Then add the gray, little by little, until it looks like the right shade. Mix it up after you add even bit. I add edamame-sized blobs at first and then decrease the dosage as it gets closer to the color.
Put some face paint on your arm so that you can compare the colors.
Put some powder gel on your arm. Let it dry and then put a tiny bit of the face paint over that. Let it dry.
The color should get lighter when it dries, because the lotion's white when wet but clear when it dries. Add more gray and keep testing until it's the right color.
To cover yourself in paint:
The other way to save money on body paint is to use less body paint. Make yourself some troll arm tights so you can skip painting your arms (and you should never paint your hands anyway or you'll get gray everyfuckingwhere and that's not okay, kiddos.), and while you're buying gray tights for your arms, get some for your legs. Then, if you're cosplaying Feferi (who I think has the most skin showing. That or a godtier page) you'd just need to paint your chest and back, neck, and face. Saves you a lot of paint and a lot of money.
So, kiddos, to sum it up
Questions? Just ask your loving Great-Auntie.
Found something factually incorrect? Correct me!
~Polly
But Great Aunt Polly, we know about gray. We've been graying since 2009.
Shut up or you don't get any ginger snaps when I'm done talking. I'm here to teach you about GRAY SAFETY. The thing about cosplay is that a lot of methods that come up are things that work, but can permanently damage you, your friends, your costumes, and your reputation. But I'm first going to address damaging you.
(Please note that I'm using USA standards for labeling and safety warnings, since that's the only thing I'm familiar with. The general advice should apply everywhere, but labels might be more or less specific depending on where you are. Research is your friend)
One of the methods I've seen for graying up is mixing acrylic paint with lotion and using that on your body.
NO NO NO NO NO.
No.
A lot of acrylic paints have heavy metals in them. They're usred to make the right colors. There's no consistent way in the USA to tell if it does. There's the AP certification, but I've seen the highest safety label on cadmium yellow with real cadmium. Cadmium is a heavy metal, and you don't want heavy metals in your body.
Story time, children. Almost a year ago, I got lithium poisoning because of some meds I was on. It was a solid two weeks of vomiting and dizziness. I missed two weeks of work. I missed two weeks of class and had to drop my favorite class because I couldn't catch up. It sucked. My lithium toxicity was still below the range considered toxic.
Lithium poisoning is one of the less shitty heavy metal poisoning.
Your body can absorb heavy metals through your skin.
Do not put acrylic paint on your skin. Heavy metals stay in your body for a long time, sometimes years. They can build up over years.
A lot of people ask if PAX makeup (acrylic paint and pros-aid adhesive) is still okay. I don't recommend it. Show me one referenced source or scientific study that shows that Pros-Aid neutralizes heavy metals and I'll change my view. But I don't believe that PAX with acrylic paint is any safer than lotion mixed with acrylic paint. It may actually be more danger since it is so much harder to remove from your skin.
So I just need to get actual body paint? Party City sells tubes for $1. That's not too hard!
Hold up again, children. I'm going to put this in bold italic capitals because if you only get one thing out of this write up, it should be this:
DO NOT EVER USE ANY MAKEUP THAT TELLS YOU TO ONLY USE IT LESS THAN (4, 6, whatever) HOURS.
This is really important. Using acrylic paint and lotion naturally feels like it's a little less than safe, and you're instinctively going to want to be cautious. Actual body paint, you think, is going to be safer.
Well, that warning's there for a reason. If they put that label on it, it's because it needs to come off your skin before the bad ingredients reach toxic levels in your body.
I learned this the hard way. My friend cosplayed as a Weeping Angel once and we got our makeup from the party store. It said it was good for six hours, but apparently she was sensitive to an ingredient. Four hours in, she was unable to walk without help because she was so dizzy, and then threw up for almost a solid half hour in the convention bathroom.
It is impossible to know if you are this sensitive without trying it on, and even if you aren't sensitive, the chemicals will still build up in your system; your body just isn't trying to get rid of them.
Great-Aunt Polly, I'm not made of money, damn it. I need to gray on the cheap. You just ruled out the cheapest two paint methods.
Watch your language, kid. First of all, I didn't rule them out. The makeups ruled themselves out by being dangerous to your body. Let's say it one time together, Homestuck is not worth bodily harm.
Homestuck is not worth bodily harm.
Good job. Everyone have a cookie.
So, what's a good option?
Well, the following paint brands are safe and all offer paint I'd say is safe on your face:
Ben Nye (Cream Liners)
Mehron (Paradise AQ, Starblend)
Snazaroo (All of it)
Krylon (aquacolor, color cups)
Graftioban (I've used their RMG because I got it for prosthetics, but I trust all of their greasepaint)
These all take a lot of paint to cover a body. Paradise AQ's big $11 thing has covered me for two fullbody paintings and that's it. I've heard you need two or three Ben Nye creamliners to cover a body. This is a lot of money for an unemployed old lady with no kids to take care of her.
You definitely need face-safe makeup for your face. Your skin is thinnest on your eyelids and so you're going to want to stop anything nasty from getting into your body fast. Just because your body paint is body-safe doesn't mean it should go on your face for hours at a time.
So you've got that, right?
Now you need some water-based cream makeup. I use Mehron Fantasy FX (I like Mehron). You need a tube of gray and a tube of white to get the right color. This comes out to $7. Order a tube of sealer too (this is not optional any time you wear body paint. Seriously. Not optional)
Then I picked up some lotion. I use Body Series Hand and Body lotion SPF 8, but you're not going to be able to find that in a store. Just pick up any lotion that you like and isn't super fancy. While you're out getting lotion, grab some aerosol spray-on sunscreen, some baby powder, and some Monistat chafing relief powder gel. The powder gel's got the exact same ingredients as Smashbox Primer Potion and doesn't cost a shitload. You're also not going to be using it on your eyelids. If there's empty squeezey bottles, get one too. 3 oz or bigger's best.
The exact proportions of white to gray are going to depend on your particular face paint that you're matching. Here's what I do (to match a 50-50 white and Storm Cloud ParadiseAQ mix):
Squirt a little bit of lotion in the bottle to stop the makeup from getting stuck on the edges. Close the lid and shake the crap out of it till it's on all of the inside surfaces. Then put the entire 1oz tube of white into the bottle. Shake to mix it up. Then add the gray, little by little, until it looks like the right shade. Mix it up after you add even bit. I add edamame-sized blobs at first and then decrease the dosage as it gets closer to the color.
Put some face paint on your arm so that you can compare the colors.
Put some powder gel on your arm. Let it dry and then put a tiny bit of the face paint over that. Let it dry.
The color should get lighter when it dries, because the lotion's white when wet but clear when it dries. Add more gray and keep testing until it's the right color.
To cover yourself in paint:
- Primer
(powder gel) everywhere the paint's going
- Put
the paint on a sponge and sponge the areas with a smushing motion,
not a smearing one. A little paint goes a long way.
- LET
IT DRY ALL THE WAY. Put a second goat on the areas that need it.
- Put
baby powder on it, let it cook for a minute, then brush it all off
with a fluffy
- Spray
a light coat of sealer. You really only need one on most areas that
aren't going to be touched a lot because
- Spray
sunscreen over all of it. (it seals it a bit more, and prevents
premature aging and sunburn! Your skin's going to get more heat
absorbing if you make your skin darker)
The other way to save money on body paint is to use less body paint. Make yourself some troll arm tights so you can skip painting your arms (and you should never paint your hands anyway or you'll get gray everyfuckingwhere and that's not okay, kiddos.), and while you're buying gray tights for your arms, get some for your legs. Then, if you're cosplaying Feferi (who I think has the most skin showing. That or a godtier page) you'd just need to paint your chest and back, neck, and face. Saves you a lot of paint and a lot of money.
So, kiddos, to sum it up
- Heavy
metal poisoning is bad. You can't know (in the USA) if paint has
them or not.
- do
not put acrylic paint on your skin
- do
not put acrylic paint on your skin
- Do
NOT put acrylic paint on your skin
- (Don't
even CONSIDER oil paint)
- (Don't
even CONSIDER oil paint)
- Do
NOT put acrylic paint on your skin
- do
not put acrylic paint on your skin
- Buy
good quality paint. It'll look better and keep you safer.
- Prime
and seal.
- The
gray can't rub off if the gray's made of tights and not paint
- Don't
get gray on anyone's clothes.
Questions? Just ask your loving Great-Auntie.
Found something factually incorrect? Correct me!
~Polly
Friday, August 16, 2013
oh hey I was going to do beda hahahahaha
Happy August 16.
I've been getting into fanmixes, and I'm working on finishing my second one and noticing that I tend to start them with two songs by the same artist.
Not intentionally.
It just happens like that.
Anyway, whatever, I'll post the tracklistings for them since no one reads this blog anyway.
They're for the DTMG fandom but more accurately for our elaborate backstories for the characters.
So here we go:
"Slipping" for Billy Joe Cobra
I've been getting into fanmixes, and I'm working on finishing my second one and noticing that I tend to start them with two songs by the same artist.
Not intentionally.
It just happens like that.
Anyway, whatever, I'll post the tracklistings for them since no one reads this blog anyway.
They're for the DTMG fandom but more accurately for our elaborate backstories for the characters.
So here we go:
"Slipping" for Billy Joe Cobra
- Desensitized--Green Day
- No Pride--Green Day
- Anthem--Blink 182
- Failure's Not Flattery--New Found Glory
- Out of Reach--The Get Up Kids
- Even if it Kills Me--Motion City Soundtrack
- Pain--Jimmy Eat World
- Sober-P!nk
- Watch Me Fall Apart--Hard-fi
- Song To Say Goodbye--Placebo
- Blackbird--The Beatles
- How To Be Dead--Snow Patrol
- Slipped--The National
"The Grave That You Refuse To Leave" for Madame X
- Sprawl (Flatlands)--Arcade Fire
- (Headlights Look Like Diamonds--Arcade Fire) <--Might change this one
- Westbound Sign--Green Day
- The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most--Dashboard Confessional
- Home Is a Fire--Death Cab for Cutie
- City With No Children--Arcade Fire
- Steadier Footing--Death Cab For Cutie
- Is There A Way Out--The Get Up Kids
- Flaws--Bastille
- No Light, No Light--Florence+The Machine
But that one's still really in progress and editing and shit
Friday, August 2, 2013
BEDA-1 day 1
As I am sitting here, in the bathroom, I have become aware that today is august second, meaning that technically I am a day late for Blog Every Day in August. So welcome to BEDA minus one, day one.
What to say? My life is currently a sort of weird monotony of wake up, pills, knit and make plans with friends that we'll pretend to try to keep, coffeeship, home, pills. Bed.
I'm also working on a very long, complicated, and drawn-out character development/plot creating storytelling experiment with my friend, which is pretty much going on all the time except when I sleep and she works. It's really fun when you make discoveries that, say, the characters that you've been writing for a month and a half reveal to you that one of them is Catholic(ish), her term. And I say reveal because I'm pretty sure pretending I'm in control of the story at this point.
Uh
I liked the clothes I wore today. I think I'm finally finding my personal style, too bad it's four years after I graduated high school.
Stuff:
Mood: Depressed but better than yesterday
Gloves: Didn't work, just knitted a skirt
Portfolio: Shit I haven't worked on that in months
Friday, January 18, 2013
Pills, pills, pills
There's some shit that I don't talk about much on the internet. My mental health is one of those things, but long story short last year I had a really shitty major depressive episode that after a misdiagnosis that almost killed me, I got diagnosed as bipolar. Wheee.
One of the fun things about being bipolar is knowing that you're going to be on pills for the rest of your life.
I also have really painful periods (i have a period even if it makes some people uncomfortable and it's my blog i'm gonna talk about it damn it) so I'm going to start birth control for that, because I can't keep missing class due to being in so much pain that moving makes me pass out.
And I keep thinking, when is this going to end. How many pills am I going to be taking for how long?
Being on lithium (the high dose that I'm on to make shit work) also fucked up my thyroid, so I'm on thyroid pills.
Basically, my morning is alarm goes off, take a pill, hit snooze. 30 minutes later I"m taking more pills and later at night more pills still.
When the doctor who I saw for the period issue (first time I saw a woman doctor for the issue and the first time that I was not condescendingly told that nothing was wrong and that sometimes periods can be painful) she asked if I would be okay with starting The Pill. That was how she said it, with the capital letters, The Pill.
And I just couldn't stop laughing.
5 different types of medicine, 8 pills a day, and I know compared to some people that's not a lot, but the fact that other people are taking more pills does not mean that I am somehow taking fewer.
Whatever, blog decided to be an angstfest today.
One of the fun things about being bipolar is knowing that you're going to be on pills for the rest of your life.
I also have really painful periods (i have a period even if it makes some people uncomfortable and it's my blog i'm gonna talk about it damn it) so I'm going to start birth control for that, because I can't keep missing class due to being in so much pain that moving makes me pass out.
And I keep thinking, when is this going to end. How many pills am I going to be taking for how long?
Being on lithium (the high dose that I'm on to make shit work) also fucked up my thyroid, so I'm on thyroid pills.
Basically, my morning is alarm goes off, take a pill, hit snooze. 30 minutes later I"m taking more pills and later at night more pills still.
When the doctor who I saw for the period issue (first time I saw a woman doctor for the issue and the first time that I was not condescendingly told that nothing was wrong and that sometimes periods can be painful) she asked if I would be okay with starting The Pill. That was how she said it, with the capital letters, The Pill.
And I just couldn't stop laughing.
5 different types of medicine, 8 pills a day, and I know compared to some people that's not a lot, but the fact that other people are taking more pills does not mean that I am somehow taking fewer.
Whatever, blog decided to be an angstfest today.
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