There's some shit that I don't talk about much on the internet. My mental health is one of those things, but long story short last year I had a really shitty major depressive episode that after a misdiagnosis that almost killed me, I got diagnosed as bipolar. Wheee.
One of the fun things about being bipolar is knowing that you're going to be on pills for the rest of your life.
I also have really painful periods (i have a period even if it makes some people uncomfortable and it's my blog i'm gonna talk about it damn it) so I'm going to start birth control for that, because I can't keep missing class due to being in so much pain that moving makes me pass out.
And I keep thinking, when is this going to end. How many pills am I going to be taking for how long?
Being on lithium (the high dose that I'm on to make shit work) also fucked up my thyroid, so I'm on thyroid pills.
Basically, my morning is alarm goes off, take a pill, hit snooze. 30 minutes later I"m taking more pills and later at night more pills still.
When the doctor who I saw for the period issue (first time I saw a woman doctor for the issue and the first time that I was not condescendingly told that nothing was wrong and that sometimes periods can be painful) she asked if I would be okay with starting The Pill. That was how she said it, with the capital letters, The Pill.
And I just couldn't stop laughing.
5 different types of medicine, 8 pills a day, and I know compared to some people that's not a lot, but the fact that other people are taking more pills does not mean that I am somehow taking fewer.
Whatever, blog decided to be an angstfest today.